Starting college about two weeks ago has led me to think a lot about how the present affects the future and basically the question: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE? When I tell people I'm "planning on double majoring in English and French with a minor in creative writing," people often ask, "So what do you hope to do with that?" I've always been an advocate of first doing what you love and THEN finding a way for it to pay the bills - I define success by happiness. So in choosing what to concentrate on in my studies for the next four years, I obviously chose three of the subjects about which I am the most passionate - studying language and literature and writing. Unfortunately a huge passion of mine that has fallen through the cracks in this process: photography. My academic load senior year was so overwhelming and therefore stifling of my creativity that I lost the time to think about photography and art, let alone create it. And now after having spent the majority of this summer alone and admiring the consistent flow of work my peers on flickr/the internet in general were creating, I sorely feel this pang of guilt and regret that has come from my negligence toward my photography. I'm starting to genuinely believe and worry about the fact that my talent for photography just may never be how used to be. I long for that state of being so obsessed with and fully immersed in the art like I was before, during, and a few months after my 365 Project. I miss that feeling of constant inspiration so much. I think senior year really held me back artistically and now I’m so fixated on other things for which I've developed just as strong passions (writing, language (french), literature, the environment) that I'm afraid I can’t give my love for photography the attention it deserves and is asking for. I am genuinely worried about this, especially as I begin to realize that the academic path I’m taking - while being one that excites me and interests me - is most likely going to lead me to being a freelance creative person (after grad school and doctoral school), and without having kept certain facets of what i consider my personal creativity honed i’m just going to be very lacking in certain aspects. Compared to my peers (many of which went to art school this fall), I have undoubtedly let myself go artistically and have in turn fallen behind.
So, as a response to this kind of revelation, I have decided to make art more of a priority in my life. I will be keeping an all-inclusive journal (covering all aspects of my life - school, social life, french, extracurriculars, art, my writing, general thoughts) in a large bound sketchbook. This blog will be the digital rendering of this journal.For my inaugural post it seems appropriate to post photos from this summer. It was a strange summer, to say the least - like I said, I spent most of it alone - but it resulted in lots of self reflection. The summer also ended on a somewhat bad note, which made the transition to college a little bit awkward, but I'll elaborate on that in the next post.
Until then, THIS SUMMER:
sally gave me this necklace for graduation which i really loved! i'm sad it started turning and i had to stop wearing it...8(
